Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Miles Kington
UPDATE
I'm changing the layout of the website because I think it's stupid right now. Hopefully with the new update, you won't have to scroll to see the new fruit.
Apple
Ahhh, the trusty apple. Malus domestica. Sir Isaac Newton's favorite snack (citation needed).
Most apples seem pretty solid, which is a plus. But then there's the whole bruising thing, which is really quite unpleasant.
The apple is connected to teachers and New York, as well as applesauce being the food of babies.
Apples in pop culture include that one nasty incident with Adam and Eve and that spiky dude from Death Note fetishising them.
Why are Granny Smith apples called that? Who's Granny Smith? Why are her apples so tasty?
8.5/10 because soft apples give me the creeps. Otherwise they're pretty okay.
Most apples seem pretty solid, which is a plus. But then there's the whole bruising thing, which is really quite unpleasant.
The apple is connected to teachers and New York, as well as applesauce being the food of babies.
Apples in pop culture include that one nasty incident with Adam and Eve and that spiky dude from Death Note fetishising them.
Why are Granny Smith apples called that? Who's Granny Smith? Why are her apples so tasty?
8.5/10 because soft apples give me the creeps. Otherwise they're pretty okay.
It's an Orange
Orange. It's not just my favorite color. It's also a citrus fruit.
I like to smell oranges. Their juice is also VASTLY superior to apple juice. Don't @ me. If you gesticulate with an orange in your hand in Montana, your neighbors can and will call the cops on you. It's a well-known fact that the orange is the only good thing to come out of Florida besides stories of Florida Man™. There have been sightings of those so enamored with the fruit that they cuddle with them during naps and long car rides. 8/10 solely because orange juice is tasty drink. |
WaterMELON
The fruit named after the life beverage. The watermelon.
The fruit mascot for summers. Stick a bottle of tequila in it and you'll have a fun time.
Watermelons explode into two halves after having roughly 805 rubber bands wrapped around its midsection.
Put a watermelon on a stranger's doorstep with a message written on it and be a small part of their memory forever.
A nifty hack to find a good watermelon is to shake it near your head. If you can't shake it, your arms aren't that strong.
2/10. Watermelons taste like crunchy water and that's gross.
The fruit mascot for summers. Stick a bottle of tequila in it and you'll have a fun time.
Watermelons explode into two halves after having roughly 805 rubber bands wrapped around its midsection.
Put a watermelon on a stranger's doorstep with a message written on it and be a small part of their memory forever.
A nifty hack to find a good watermelon is to shake it near your head. If you can't shake it, your arms aren't that strong.
2/10. Watermelons taste like crunchy water and that's gross.
Bananana
That one fruit we all pretended was a telephone in elementary school. The banana.
It's been long debated the proper way to peel a banana. The truth is, it doesn't matter how you peel it as long as the peel can be used to slip up someone, like in the cartoons. Did you know that when people first discovered bananas, they didn't remove the peel? They thought it was edible, those silly gooses. When you step on a banana, it go squish. It's also a berry. 0/10. It's a SOFT and GARBAGE fruit. |
Blackberry
And yes, I do mean the fruit and not the outdated phone that everyone was using in 2008.
This is the main ingredient used in the filling for my mother's recipe of Humble Pie. She always made it whenever her children were acting like brats. The special staining properties of blackberries makes it a good lip tint or a way to fake being sick. Blackberries grow low on bushes, which makes it very easy for hooligans and rapscallions to steal mine. 7/10. I like the taste, but I'm not a fan of seeds. |
More fruit soon--recommend me fruit in contact tab
Vote for your favorite in the fruit enthusiasts tab
Vote for your favorite in the fruit enthusiasts tab